She.

She is sad
She is hurt
She is dying
She is alone
She is lonely
She is a mess
She is judged
She is ignored
She is suicidal
She is stressed
She is confused
She is fucked up
She is depressed
She is misunderstood
She is tired but still living
She is hurt but won't show it
She is screaming but is silent
She is in pain but still smiling
She is me.


What have you done to me? Sometimes I think that people really wanted me to be like this. Suffering and feeling the worst person all over the world by saying all the things they said to me years ago.
Some people don't realise the effect that words have.
There are words that hurt. Really deep inside.

I remember that once someone told me that I could be thinner. What did I do? Wanted to be thinner.
And here I am, not eating. Maybe a cookie or something not to feel starving, but I want to show him that if I can do something, I'll do it.
I'm not happy with myself. I don't like the way I'm. I'm sad, and nobody knows that.
It hurts deep inside that nobody asks me if I'm okay or if I need anything, or just talk to somebody.
I need a hug. I need to feel comfortable with people around me. But at the same time, I want to be alone. I need to feel alone. Not sad, alone. I need to have a feeling of lonelyness and eating. I eat when I'm sad. But I'm so fucking tired of being sad, and crying every single night.




I need help.